Self referencing

It’s kind of obvious that breaking the habit didn’t work out as expected . A month later , I haven’t found myself in the mood of sharing anything. Interestingly, that says a lot about me as a person . Oh, well , now I have to elaborate , don’t I ?

Here we go then :

1. My need to communicate my thoughts is NOT spontaneous. It’s an (occasion/circumstances) - driven value , I sometimes attribute to myself. I do it mostly when I feel the urge to bitch about how life sucks ( for me ) and find comfort in the illusion of publicity. Other possible reasons include the need to selectively externalize aspects of my personality to targeted groups of people who are unreachable through ordinary channels , the need to brag about achievements that I selfishly assume other people give a damn about and so on.
2. Like most things in life, I find it really hard to do one thing for a prolonged period of time. Tons of examples are available to those of you interested , I could go on for ever. It’s a profound disability to keep my focus on something for more time than needed for it to serve my instant needs. That’s why I seem to have ended up being pretty good in some stuff, good enough in other , but not really good in anything. Amateur.And immature.
3. Funny as it may seem, one of the most significant reasons for me not blogging for the past month, is that WordPress somehow found its way out of my bookmarks and start page. I guess it was the transition from Firefox to Chrome that did the trick . That illustrates how narrow my perspective is . For things to work with me, they must be part of a really organised mind-plan. since I am usually too lazy to organize my life ( although I constantly think about doing it) things, matters, habits find their way in my everyday life, become part of me , and then find their way out as easily and as painlessly as they came.

For the past month I’ve been really satisfied with life and all the people i needed to communicate were in reach through standard channels in one way or another [ 1 ] . There are properties of ones personality that are hard to change [2] ( τζάμπα σωστός με το στανιό, as Σωκράτης in his pure wisdom states), but that doesn’t mean that I won’t try to change them. I have a feeling that trying will offer more than succeeding it anyway. Oh, and yes, I’ve added WordPress to my bookmarks and start page [3] once again.

That’s about as much frankness and self-awareness as I can handle on a Monday night.

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